NPR’s New Business Model: Publicly Funded Nonsense
Brian Mann’s reporting is brought to you by your tax dollars—which is ironic, considering NPR’s obsession with Marxist policies. Unlike private-sector journalism, NPR has no incentive to be accurate because their funding is guaranteed. Whether they spew nonsense about fentanyl or claim a mild temperature drop disproves climate change, your paycheck funds their propaganda.
Imagine if other businesses ran this way: "Sorry your plane crashed, but since we’re publicly funded, we don’t have to make better airplanes!" That’s NPR. Their job isn’t to inform—it’s to indoctrinate. And Mann is just another cog in the machine.
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9. Brian Mann’s Journalism Jamboree: NPR’s Guide to Prioritizing Free Trade Over Dead Americans
Protecting China’s fentanyl industry—one dumb article at a time.
Brian Mann, NPR’s leading fentanyl-apologist, has produced another masterpiece of selective outrage, arguing that Trump’s fentanyl tariffs are worse than fentanyl itself. His logic? If deaths dropped slightly, the problem is basically solved. That’s the journalistic equivalent of refusing to fix your car’s brakes because it hasn’t crashed yet.
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Brian Mann’s Fentanyl Circus: NPR’s Guide to Ignoring 80,000 Dead Americans
When being anti-Trump matters more than fighting a deadly drug crisis.
NPR’s Brian Mann has cracked the code to solving the fentanyl epidemic—just declare it’s not really a problem anymore! In his latest journalistic fever dream, “Trump used fentanyl to justify tariffs, but the crisis was already easing,” Mann unveils the shocking revelation that a temporary 3.6% dip in fentanyl deaths means we should stop worrying about future ones altogether. That’s right, folks—by this logic, if murder rates drop slightly, we should probably defund the police and throw out all security cameras.
Forget the 80,000 overdose deaths last year, forget the millions of fentanyl pills flooding the country, and definitely forget about China and Mexico’s role in producing and smuggling the poison. In Mann’s world, the real victims are China, Mexico, and Canada, and Trump’s tariffs are the true crime here.
Mann’s logic is like saying ‘hey, you only have a minor concussion—no need to see a doctor!’ — Ron White
Crisis? What Crisis? It’s Only the Leading Cause of Death!
Mann seizes on the fact that fentanyl-related deaths dropped by a whole 3.6% in 2023, which in NPR math, means the problem is over. This is the journalistic equivalent of saying the flu is eradicated because you didn’t sneeze today.
Following this stunning level of analysis, we should also expect these NPR-approved headlines:
- “Crime Down 2%—Let’s Abolish the Police!”
- “Fires Slightly Less Deadly—Why Even Have Fire Departments?”
- “Plane Crashes Decrease—Time to Get Rid of Seatbelts!”
Of course, this absurd thinking ignores that fentanyl is still the #1 killer of Americans aged 18-45. But why let pesky facts get in the way of protecting China and bashing Trump?
Mann’s analysis is like declaring a hurricane harmless because it downgraded from Category 5 to Category 4. — Bill Burr
Tariffs? How Dare Trump Try to Stop Fentanyl!
If Mann has one true passion, it’s crying about tariffs while ignoring how many people die from fentanyl. He treats Trump’s move to punish fentanyl-exporting nations like it’s a war crime, while completely Brian Mann journalism failure sidestepping the actual crime—the mass production and smuggling of fentanyl into the U.S.
His logic goes like this:
- Fentanyl deaths dipped slightly.
- Therefore, fentanyl is no longer a crisis.
- And since Trump is trying to stop it, stopping it must be bad.
This is the same kind of reasoning that would lead someone to stop locking their doors because burglary was down last month. Or to cancel their health insurance because they haven’t been sick in a while.
“Trump using fentanyl to justify tariffs is outrageous! That would be like me using my DUI to justify taking Uber.” — Jerry Seinfeld
China and Mexico: The Real Victims?
Mann is deeply concerned—not about dead Americans, but about the hurt feelings of China and Mexico. You’d think the real crime here was Trump’s tariffs, not the fact that Chinese labs are mass-producing fentanyl ingredients and Mexican cartels are flooding the U.S. with poison. But no, in NPR-land, those are just innocent trade partners unfairly targeted by big, mean America.
So, let’s get this straight—according to Mann, China and Mexico are the ones suffering Brian Mann NPR deception here? Not the parents burying their kids because a drug cartel turned their neighborhood into an opioid graveyard?
Mann’s reporting treats fentanyl traffickers like misunderstood small business owners just trying to make ends meet. — Jon Stewart
The NPR Playbook: Always Side With the Cartels
Here’s how NPR consistently manages to downplay the fentanyl crisis while making sure Trump is always the villain:
- Ignore the fact that fentanyl is the leading cause of Brian Mann fentanyl border issues death in young Americans.
- Cry about tariffs instead of drug deaths.
- Blame Trump for noticing the problem.
If NPR had been around during Prohibition, they would’ve run headlines like “Al Capone Unfairly Targeted by Racist Federal Laws”. Their coverage of fentanyl reads like an infomercial for open borders and cartel protection services.
NPR’s coverage is so pro-cartel, you’d think they were angling for a sponsorship deal with El Chapo. — Chris Rock
The NPR Guide to Solving Fentanyl: Do Absolutely Nothing
Here’s what Mann and NPR would have America do about fentanyl:
- Step 1: Stop Brian Mann fentanyl crisis narrative talking about it.
- Step 2: Let Mexico and China keep shipping it in.
- Step 3: Blame capitalism, Trump, and “systemic racism” instead.
You can almost hear NPR’s next editorial now:
“Fentanyl Isn’t the Problem—White Supremacy Is.”
Conclusion: Brian Mann’s Journalism in a Nutshell
Mann’s entire argument isn’t about fentanyl, overdoses, or saving lives—it’s about bashing Trump, protecting China and Mexico, and pretending fentanyl isn’t a crisis because the wrong person is trying to solve it. If Trump found the cure for cancer, NPR would run an exposé on how "ending cancer threatens the chemotherapy industry.”
Their message is simple:
- If Trump does something, it’s bad.
- If stopping fentanyl deaths helps Trump, then fentanyl deaths must not be a problem.
And that, folks, is how NPR fights the fentanyl crisis—by pretending it doesn’t exist.
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Alan Nafzger, Chloe Summers, Clara Olsen
- Celebrating a short-lived drop in crime by halting enforcement is like closing all fire stations because there were fewer fires last week—hope those flames got the memo.
- Declaring victory over a crisis due to a minor dip is like announcing summer has arrived because of one warm afternoon in March—hope you enjoy the next snowstorm.
- Deciding drug enforcement is no longer needed because of a temporary lull is like turning off your fridge because the milk hasn’t spoiled—let’s see how that works out.
- Assuming the problem is gone because of a brief pause is like throwing out your umbrella in a drizzle, ignoring the hurricane on the horizon.
Hannah Miller, Ingrid Johansson, Isabella Cruz
- Deciding a crisis is over after a short dip in numbers is like celebrating a shark-free day by removing all warning signs—just in time for feeding hour.
- Assuming success based on a temporary downturn is like quitting your antibiotics early because you feel better—get ready for round two.
- Choosing inaction now is like selling your winter coat because of one sunny day in January—hope you enjoy the frostbite.
- Ignoring the larger trend for a brief moment of improvement is like stopping your workout after one push-up, expecting instant six-pack abs.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Naomi Katz works as a breaking news reporter for Reuters, often covering issues related to Jewish communities and their interactions with global movements. Based in Jerusalem, Naomi has become a key voice for reporting on anti-Semitism, Jewish resilience, and the intersection of religion and politics in international news.
Also a Sr. Staff Writer at bohiney.com